Sep 17 2015

It’s only True if you Laugh

Most of my life I’ve been on a strange journey in the study of occult. I found Discordianism and The Church of the SubGenius early on, 1998. The first copy of SubG material was a copy of Revelation X : The ‘Bob’Apocryphon : Hidden Teachings and Deuterocanonical Texts of J.R. ‘Bob’ Dobbs, found in my highschool’s theatre, burried in the costume bins. It was tattered and someone had cut out many of the pictures throughout the book.

I glided through my twenties as an avid truther and occultnic, burrying my heart and head in New Orleans with Thelemites, burring my preconceived thoughts in Illinois, with the LGBT community, and the aide of Josh Wetzel’s handy little manual, The Paradigmal Pirate. When I really dug into the online community I found the YouTube satanists and atheists to be great conversationalists and entrenched in an urgent discussion.

Now firmly in my thirties I’ve realized much of the occult was geared toward a serious study of self transformation, and networking to lubricate your intent to fruition, albeit obscured in jargon and mysticism. My attitude and thought had changed dramatically over the decade, I even agree, reluctantly, that 9/11 was done by a handful of jihadi extremists.  I found myself on facebook and in the Discordian Society, I made friends and solidified friendships that have lasted years now, Docter Zan & JB for example were met via early facebook DiscoSoc interactions. One of these people who impacted me and was a great compatriot in the time we got to know each other was, Jesse “Scarab” Waters, who died at The Juggalo Gathering in 2007. He wandered off in the night, and by morning his body was found in the river, drowned. His last post to facebook still haunts me. The last lines especially;

Jesse Waters“It’s only True if you Laugh…

I bid you all a good day… May you find the thing in your life that holds you back, and may you throttle that fucker with the steel hands of Tarzan. May you lift your head and call out with the wolves in the world of Two Moons… May you always see the glass as not half empty, but full of liquid promise. The water to be used for a plant yet to grow… Water the seed of doubt in your mind and find your own glitches in the system… No matter how hard it may be to see them for what they are, realize that you are nothing more than a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things… But you can always be the sand in the eye and oyster of Reality and yet of the world…

Love comes not from gifts and the gotten, but from the will that was forgotten…


Just a voice on the net…”
R.I.P. Jesse Waters

So, with that thought in my heart, the memory driving my spirit, RadioKALLISTI.org was founded.
I bid you all a good day…

-Niz Noxx

About the author

KLST Admin

Thom Trumbull is the head task monkey at 103.5 KLST, and all around swell guy.


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  1. Your words moved me deeply, Niza. Such a journey we are on. I’m sorry we lost Jesse and I never had the pleasure. I’m sure he’d love KLST.

    1. Govind

      hi. my name is joel. im 27 years old, i only have high school and lttlie college education. im very poor and im on disability for chronic migraines and mental health issues which come along with that burden. in the past few years i have been getting into horses. i cant get enough of them or stop learning about them. something inside is telling me this is what i need to do, but i dont know how to get started. your podcasts make me feel fired up about doing something about it. i have been spending time at a local barn. i take 1 lesson a week and pay to ride the same horse another day per week. i groom my trainers horses for exercise and something to do, and she loves it. it calms me down and keeps me fit. one of the main problems with my disability is that it is so hard to stay healthy which is a main causing factor. i feel like this is my best chance at reaching a level of health and happiness and that i may be able to overcome my problems and actually have a real job or career. my strong points are that my heart is in it, i dont have too much fear on the ground, i love to get dirty and spend time with the horses, i love to sweat and get a workout. its just that i havent been working for years and i have no money beond what i need to pay bills and ride. no recent work experience means its hard to find a job at all. plus i live near detroit, michigan and it’s practically 3rd world here. if you don’t know what kind of advice to give to me, that’s ok, but maybe you have some ideas so i thought i’d be worth asking. i would love to hear from you guys. if i begin making progress towards the life i desire i will definately keep ya’ll updated and speak highly of ya’ll.

      1. Hi Joel. Thanks for the insight. Please stay in touch.


  2. KLST Admin

    Kaylan was an inspiration, and continues to be, even in his absence.

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